Monday, April 30, 2012


                I met the coolest species yesterday.  These guys floated off the ground using their minds!  They even picked me up and allowed me to float along with them.  It was a little unsettling to hear their voices in my head, but it was worth it.  I think all of them could hear my thoughts but they controlled themselves so that I could only hear one person.  Except for the little ones, I think.  Occasionally, I heard giggling in my head.   Anyway, they do everything with their minds.  Their homes, cities, everything floats in the air. 
                They call themselves Swenns.  I call them the Marshmallow people because they have big yellow square bodies with no face or arms or legs.  Diplomat that I am, questions kept popping into my head that I wanted to ask but didn’t.   I asked the usual questions about culture, society, and history and all that but what I really wanted to know was how can you eat or smell with no faces?  I thought those might be offensive to ask but how do you keep from having thoughts?  Seriously, how can you possibly keep from thinking about things?  I’m sure they heard every stray thought I had and are wondering what the heck baseball and pretty girls have to do with exploring.
                And then the harder you try not to have stupid thoughts, the quicker they jump into your head right?  It started with thoughts.  I just hope I don’t wet myself.  How can they possibly reproduce when they have bodies like big square Marshmallows?  Oh no, did I just think that out loud?  Soon, it was movie images.  The harder I tried to clear my mind, the more scenes from slasher movies and war movies popped into my head.  Some ambassador I turned out to be.  I can’t believe they invited me back.  Who knows, maybe they have a sense of humor.
                ~ Clark

Monday, April 16, 2012


                Exploring whole new worlds and experiencing new and different cultures can be challenging at times because, well, it is new and different.  I find that the real challenges though come out on the road, running path, whatever you want to call it.
                Everything hurts.  If I can think about it, it hurts.  Can I run another quarter mile, half mile, mile, another step?  One step becomes three and three steps become . . . I don’t know . . . a bunch.  And another bunch becomes another bunch.  That’s it, just dooon’t think about it.  One, two, one two, just keep going.  Soon, a landmark appears, a mile marker of sorts.  I realize I have gone another mile.  If I could do that mile, I can certainly do the next one and the one after that and . . .  Well, let’s not get carried away.  Just do this next bunch of steps.
                I fancy myself an accountant, an explorer, maybe even a bit of a writer, but I choose the title runner.  After all, why would I put myself through this if I didn’t love some aspect of it??
                ~ Clark

Monday, April 9, 2012

What Would You Do?

                In all of my travels to other worlds, none of the species encountered have seemed surprised to see me.  Many have been annoyed, but no one seems to be surprised.  I suppose these other worlds have greeted many travelers through the portal for some time now, whereas, since I only recently opened our portal we have not had the pleasure of embracing visitors through it as of yet.
                This begs the question, what would you do if an alien suddenly appeared in your back yard?  Now think about it.  What would you really do?  Would your answer change if it was big, green, and ugly?  What if it was only three feet tall with soft eyes?
                Would you run away, call the police or military or favorite palm reader; or approach it (with or without a frying pan in hand)?  If you approached the entity, would you attempt communication, ask it questions?  Would you dare to answer their questions?  Take a blood sample from it? 
I can only imagine so many options.  What are your ideas?  I’m curious to find out if a person’s answer would change depending on their upbringing, education, environment, career, religion . . . 
~ Clark

Monday, April 2, 2012

Forget Something?

                Typically, when I take a trip I have a tendency to forget my swimsuit or favorite toothpaste.  No problem, just find the nearest Wal-Mart for a cheap solution to the problem (I now own five swimsuits).  However, now that I have begun traveling between planets the dire gravity of misplacing any number of essentials rises to a new level.  With each new adventure I take the list of things I need to remember grows.  So far, my experiences have contributed to the following list of items I need/ wish for:
ü  Good running shoes (who knows what will be chasing me by the end of the day?)
ü  A flashlight and glow sticks (I never know how long the sun will be up on any planet)
ü  A compass (as if that would help)
ü  A map (ha!)
ü  My translator/ personal shield ~ I have to choose one at a time.   Not always an easy choice.
ü  Sweet snacks (peace offering?)
ü  My digital camera with pictures of Earth saved on it
ü  Ray gun (of course!)
ü  A lighter/ matches
ü  Pen & notepad
ü  Sunscreen (1000 proof)
ü  The universal manual on alien etiquette

It’s the last item that I really wish someone would give me.  How could anyone even imagine that you have to pat your tummy when complimenting a Fre-ank or lay on the ground to address a Spaorn Monk?  Live and learn, right?  I’ll keep you posted and try to add to this list from time to time.
~ Clark