Monday, December 26, 2011

My Favorite Parts of Christmas

                My favorite parts of Christmas are seeing family, finding that special gift that I know will bring a smile to someone’s face, and how everyone is happy. 
                What are your favorite parts?

Monday, December 19, 2011

Have you ever liked a girl?

                I have liked this girl in the office for a long, long time.  You know how sometimes you meet a woman that probably isn’t gorgeous in everyone else’s mind but she has just those exact qualities that appeal to you?  Her smile, her voice, her conversationalist personality, everything about her melts your heart and you just want to talk to her for the rest of your life.  Has this ever happened to you?
 I just want to be close to her.  It’s supposed to be easy right?  Just go up to her and start a conversation.  Then you’ll find out in a hurry if she’s interested.  Except, my problem is that I’m really a pretty boring guy.  I am, after all, an accountant.  I know, I know, you can save all the jokes. 
                So anyway, I’m basically a boring guy with a boring life.  I know what you’re going to say.  If we aren’t meant to be together, so be it.  I should just go find someone who is boring like me and we can make each other happy right?  The thing is, if she only knew about my secret life, her entire perception of me would likely change.  If she could see what my life is really like, the one that allows me to set foot on fascinating planets and meet species that no other human has ever met, she and everyone else would see me in a completely different light.  She would have to.  Who wouldn’t want to talk to an inter-planetary traveler?  But it all has to remain a great, big secret.  What am I supposed to do, just give up?
                What is your love story?

Monday, December 12, 2011

Agent Johnson

                The Feds came to my house today!  There were two agents who said they were with the Environmental Protection Agency.  You and I both know what that really means.  Agents Johnson and Jackson, if that’s really their names, interviewed me.  Agents?  Really?  What are they, spooks or investigators?  Aren’t the people working for the EPA supposed to be scientists or lawyers?  Since when did they become investigators of extraterrestrial events?  What do you suppose they know?  What could they possibly know?  I covered up all the evidence of Tr’zez being in my back yard.  Well, I think I got it all. 
                I have to be super careful now.  I think they have highly technical equipment.  I bet they have been doing this for quite some time now and have gained technology from other species.  I have no idea if they captured it or traded for it but it makes a person wonder.  Think about it for a minute.  Has our government already made contact with extraterrestrials? 
What are the chances that out of all the stars in the sky, someone, someone has visited us from another star system?  Could the chances really be zero?  Really, do we think that there could be such an abundance of life on this one, single planet but zero on countless other planets out there?  Does that sound right to you?  Heck, I’ve met some of them.  Anyway, if the government has made contact, you know they would keep it secret because people just aren’t ready for something like this.  Besides, they’d want to maintain any advantage they could over other governments.
                You’ll have to forgive me, I get excited when I think about the possibilities.  What I wanted to tell you was that this Agent Johnson gave me a weird feeling.  I didn’t think about it when he was interviewing me because he put me on the defensive.  He looked at me like he knew something.  But later after they left I realized he had had some odd mannerisms.  I wish I had paid closer attention at the time.  Could he have been an alien himself?  Like that movie, could they be living and working among us, only they’re working for the government?  Hrrr, it gives me chills thinking about it.  No, no, that just can’t be true.
                Enough speculation, I need to go outside and make sure there’s no evidence of aliens in my back yard.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Dark World

I had the worst day ever.   I went to this awful world.  It was night time when I arrived, which should have been my first clue.  And when I say it was night time, I mean it was pitch black out.  No stars visible, no light of any sort.  Anyway, there were these 30 foot black, bird creatures with creepy yellow eyes.    Imagine a world in which all you can see are yellow eyes flying around.  See what I mean, creepy.  I didn’t see or hear any other signs of life during the entire trip.  I did, however, see piles of bones when I first arrived.  You’d think that I would learn, wouldn’t you?  I should have just turned around and left.  No wonder Tr’zez hates that planet.
All these things wanted to do was eat, eat, eat.  Thank goodness I had my shield on.  Since they couldn’t make a meal out of me they threw me in a prison, a birdcage of all things.  They didn’t try giving me a name or anything so I figure I wasn’t what they had in mind for a pet.  I couldn’t tell how high up we were but it seemed pretty high at the time.  You know how even in black of night your eyes start to adjust after awhile?  Well, after mine did, I could make out some rocks close by but I couldn’t see very far.  It’s like we were on a steep cliff. 
              I listened to the ornery birds talk.  They didn’t realize that I could understand them so they talked freely.  Their voices dripped with, well, I guess hunger would be the best way to describe them.  The thing is, they hardly said an intelligent word aside from how hungry they were.  Although, there was a brief moment when they discussed one of their own having explored the portal system in ancient times.  So I’m right about thinking that explorers from various worlds have been using the portal system to travel, but other than that I haven’t learned too much about it.
              Eventually, the creatures fell asleep.  All of them!  They obviously felt content that I wasn’t going anywhere.  They weren’t the only ones.  I thought I was going to spend the rest of my days in a stinking birdcage.  I guess we all received a big surprise.  Ha!
              There really isn’t any action or climax to this week’s update.  I just wanted to vent about these nasty creatures I had to deal with.  The worst part of it all is that I have to go back there.